He Looks Bigger On The Tee Vee

Despite concerted efforts by the White House to keep it a highly guarded secret, President Bush was revealed today to be a teeny tiny man. The truth came out when reporters observed the President having to stand on a step ladder to greet a home builder in Gautier, Mississippi, during an appearance at a Hurricane Katrina reconstruction project. When questioned, a presidential spokesperson was forced to concede that press events are regularly staged using a combination of forced perspective, specially-designed miniature furniture and the occasional carnival fun mirror. Also, to maintain the illusion of presidential height, no one in Mr. Bush's cabinet can be over five feet tall.

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Following the surprise disclosure of President Bush's teeny tiny stature, the White House today released pictures of President Bush's teeny tiny bible.