No Luck of the Irish

Prime Minister of Ireland Bertie Ahern looked none too pleased today when President Bush informed him that because he'd neglected to wear green on St. Patrick's Day, the visiting European dignitary would have to submit himself to a "serious, Texas-sized butt pinching". There are unconfirmed reports that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, aware of the President's ape-like finger strength and his fondness for doling out the traditional St. Patrick's Day punishment, ripped a green tie from the neck of a startled aide just moments before descending the Capitol steps.

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Sore assed Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern is pictured here offering President Bush a bowl of shamrocks as part of a St. Patrick's Day celebration held today in the Roosevelt Room of the White House. Earlier, the President publicly apologized for pinching the Prime Minister's bottom, admitting that he mistakenly thought Thursday was St. Patrick's Day and that Mr. Ahearn had neglected to follow the custom of wearing an item of green clothing. Republicans in Congress are reportedly mulling a bill that would retroactively move up the holiday by a day, thereby absolving the President of any wrongdoing.