Hugo the Magnificent

Confirming rumors that have been quietly circulating for months, Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez admitted today that he is, in fact, half human, half sprite. The revelation came during an appearance at the Camden Centre in London, where he demonstrated that he could make a trail of pink stars come out of his index finger on command. The controversial Venezuelan leader also asserted that he could, in his words, "squeeze out a plume of pixie dust from at least two places on his body" but no one in the crowd seemed terribly interested in seeing him prove it and everyone pretty much agreed to take him at his word.