This Is Getting Ugly

Moments after declaring that the U.S. was still "numero uno" in star making technology, Pres. Bush backed up his claim by producing a large cluster of white, five-pointed stars simply by closing his eyes and focusing his thoughts. The demonstration, which took place in Washington today, was viewed as a direct response to Venezuela President Hugo Chavez, who recently demonstrated that his country had acquired star-making abilities. Venezuela remains years behind the U.S., however, since their process is still index finger-oriented and is only capable of producing pink stars, which are widely considered to be far less effective than the white variety.