Cheney's Loverly

Check out Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Walt Handelsman's latest animation.

It's Unofficially Official

I say if Bloomberg let himself get photographed hugging a hot dog, he can't possibly be considering a run for the presidency. Everybody knows you have to be president already to allow yourself to look that stupid.

R.I.P., Mickey Mouse Lookalike

This just in from the AP:

A Mickey Mouse lookalike who preached Islamic domination on a Hamas-affiliated children's television program was beaten to death in the show's final episode Friday. In the final skit, "Farfour" was killed by an actor posing as an Israeli official trying to buy Farfour's land. At one point, the mouse called the Israeli a "terrorist."

"Farfour was martyred while defending his land," said Sara, the teen presenter. He was killed "by the killers of children," she added...

Station officials said Friday that Farfour was taken off the air to make room for new programs. Station manager Mohammed Bilal said he did not know what would be shown instead.

An afternoon casting session scheduled by Hamas to find a SpongeBob Squarepants lookalike has reportedly been canceled due to a general unwillingness among available actors to be beaten to death on a children's program.

2007 Summer Camp Guide

Walt Handelsman's latest animation.

Maybe It's Just Me...

... but these may be two of the worst pictures a candidate has ever willingly posed for in the history of politics. Why not just adopt the slogan, "Vote for me -- I'm winded". It's like he's wearing "Defeat" cologne.

Off We Go

Here's Walt Handelsman's latest animation. Make that 2007 Pulitzer Prize-winning Walt Handelsman's latest animation.

It's Nothing To Be Embarrassed About

Republican presidential candidate Tommy Thompson apologized today, telling reporters that the reason he mistakenly expressed support for the right of an employer to fire a gay worker at a May 3 GOP debate was because he couldn't hear, didn't feel good and had to pee. While these excuses hit some observers as lame, vaguely unpresidential and unbelievably icky, supporters of the former Health and Human Services Secretary say this line of defense wasn't without precedent. According to presidential historians, Warren G. Harding blamed the Teapot Dome Scandal on a worrisome anal discharge, Herbert Hoover pointed to painful and bloody hemorrhoids as causing the Great Depression, while Richard Nixon is said to have blamed Watergate on a combination of flatulence, bad breath and a persistently itchy scrotum.