Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Food's Good But the Service in This Place Sucks

With the end of his term looming and the prospect of an endless stretch of long empty days ahead of him, President Bush appeared to begin his search for appropriate post-presidential employment Tuesday morning when he took breakfast orders at the Sterling Family Restaurant in Peoria, Ill.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Just as I Always Suspected

It only works if you drink the Kool-Aid at the same time.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Friday, January 19, 2007

Dear Mr. Little

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that the White House Correspondents Association has announced a "decidedly safer headliner for this year's April 21 bash: impressionist Rich Little, mimic of dozens of celebrities -- most of whom are dead." The Las Vegas Review-Journal adds that "organizers of the event made it clear they don't want a repeat of last year's controversial appearance by Stephen Colbert, whose searing satire of President Bush and the White House press corps fell flat and apparently touched too many nerves." Noting that the association "got a lot of letters," Mr. Little vowed on Tuesday "I won't even mention the word 'Iraq.'"

In an effort to make the president's evening more enjoyable, here are some other words and phrases Mr. Little might want to avoid:

Bring 'em on
Heckuva job
Brownie
Worst
Worst president
Worst president ever
Illegal
Wiretapping
Illegal wiretapping
Greet us as liberators
Stay the course
Weapons of mass destruction
Dead or alive
As they stand up
We stand down
Iraq's oil will pay for the war
I looked into his soul
Reformer with results
Compassionate conservatism

Mission accomplished

Winning the war
Definitely winning the war
Not losing the war
Mistakes were made
Exit strategy

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Why the Long Face, Senator Stevens?

It was all smiles in the Oval Office yesterday as legislators and administration officials witnessed Pres. Bush sign the Magnuson-Stevens Fishery Conservation and Management Reauthorization Act of 2006 into law. The lone exception to the shits and giggles was Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska, who was either unhappy at being posed in the photo equivalent of Siberia or pissed that everyone was laughing at his crappy gray pants.