Thursday, December 29, 2005

Dear White House:

You've run the above picture of the president on the phone for several days now on the White House website. To be honest, it doesn't give me much to work with. Please refresh with something I can more easily mock. Thanks and Happy Holidays!

P.S. In case you're wondering what kind of stuff I'm looking for, it wouldn't be at all bad if it involved the president with some sort of animal or the president standing beside something odd. Below please find two examples...

P.P.S. Happy New Year!

Friday, December 23, 2005

All I Want For Xmas Is To Go Home

Golden retriever Max ponders the oh-so-delicious irony of being tied to a metal bar and forced to lie on the cold dirty ground while his owner does some last-minute Christmas shopping inside Just For Fun in San Francisco. However, rather than simply stare blankly at the store's display of sugary delights for hours on end, Max used the time to consider different ways his owner's death might look like a complete accident.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Christmas Miracle

A youngster is seen here receiving a gift bag from California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger at the 24th annual Miracle on First Street Toy Giveaway in East Los Angeles today. But the real Miracle on First Street was that Gov. Schwarzenegger was able to generate that much desperation and insincerity in a single facial gesture.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Barney's Christmas Gift for the Press Corps

According to the White House, the above photo shows the president's dog Barney "making a snow angel" on the South Lawn today. After the dog was ushered back into the White House, photographers and journalists spent the subsequent half hour digging Barney's "snow angels" off their boots with a sharp smelly stick.