To celebrate winning the Commander-in-Chief trophy for a third consecutive year, members of the U.S. Naval Academy football team today gave Pres. George W. Bush a magic ring as part of a ceremony held in the White House Rose Garden. Unfortunately, before anyone could warn him to choose his wishes wisely, Pres. Bush had already asked for a football with a Nike logo on it and an American flag lapel pin. When informed that the ring only came with two wishes, Pres. Bush then attempted to trade in the football for "victory in Iraq and stuff" but was rebuffed, at which he point he took his ball and lapel pin and went home, though not without first walking off in the wrong direction.