Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Motor City Meltown **UPDATE**

Stung by a 33% drop in the sale of new vehicles and the apparent end of the public's love affair with the SUV, American auto makers are scrambling to find new markets for their products. Among the projects currently being worked on is the Dog Car, but before the prototype pictured above can be mass-produced, engineers will have to invent a car-shrinking ray and figure out a way to teach dogs to drive. Despite the enormous technical obstacles involved, a spokesperson for the Big Three said the effort was still preferable to designing fuel-efficient cars that consumers may actually want to buy. However, legislation is currently pending in Congress that will qualify the Dog Car as a light-duty truck.


To demonstrate their concern for the environment and that calls for increased fuel efficiency are not going unheard in this age of $3-a-gallon gas prices, the Big Three automakers announced today that they plan to develop a parrot-driven tricycle and have it ready for sale in the nation's showrooms by September of 2007. Unlike the Dog Car, the Parrocycle will not require the invention of any new technology, nor will it involve any particularly difficult animal training techniques. However, because there are far fewer parrots in the country than dogs, automakers did concede that the vehicle's impact on U.S. gas consumption may be minimal.

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