Friday, February 10, 2006

Dear Disney,

I can't tell you how thrilled I was to hear that you are now open to offers for your on-air personalities in exchange for the rights to cartoon characters. Okay, I'll confess I was a little miffed about not hearing that Al Michaels was on the market until it was too late and that NBC Universal had already scooped him up before I'd even gotten out of bed. But no hard feelings, and I mean that. I tend not to get out of bed until late morning anyway and I'm sure a memo went out and I just missed it. It really has been crazy around here lately.

In any case, given that you were willing to part with one of America's preeminent sportscasters in exchange for Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, I thought you might be interested in one of my characters.

As you can see, he's cute, well dressed and though hand-drawn, I'm fairly certain he would fit quite nicely into your company's post-Pixar-acquisition plans. My character doesn't have a name -- though "Spunky" seems about right -- and in the spirit of full disclosure, I really don't know what he looks like from the bow-tie down. I am, however, more than willing to spend a little more time drawing if that turns out to be a deal-breaker.

Just so we can cut through things and let the bean-counters do their thing, in exchange for my character I'll probably be looking for someone on the order of Teri Hatcher or Eva Longoria, though I could probably be talked into Jimmy Kimmel because he makes me laugh.

Anyway, you have my number. Looking forward to hearing from you guys.

1 comment:

Road Rage said...

Dear Bill,

Thank you for your kind offer of "Spunky." While "Spunky" does look like he has a great deal of pep and a sharp bowtie, I'm afraid the best we can offer in exchange is Jim Belushi or, maybe, Freddie Prinze. And just to show you that our hearts are in the right place, we can throw in a few hundred posters of Heather Graham for good measure.

Cryogenically yours,
Walt "Please find a cure" Disney