The Associated Press is reporting that a 41-year-old man from Kuala Lumpur is having his penis surgically reattached in a northern Malaysian hospital after severing it in an attempt to prove to his wife he was not having an affair. The man's 14-year-old son told the New Straits Times he heard loud screams, then saw his father emerge from his room bleeding profusely.
Geez. Talk about your wasted, empty gestures. Everyone knows the three surest signs you're cheating on your wife are when you: 1) order flowers for no good reason; 2) come home with lipstick on your collar and ladies' perfume on your clothes; and 3) sever your penis to prove you're not cheating on your wife.