Hurts Bad, Tastes Good

Members of the Guatemalan Special Forces in Guatemala City today got what is being reported as a "massive brain freeze" moments after eating celebratory popsicles a little too quickly. The soldiers gobbled up the sweet, icy treats as they prepared to leave on a U.N. peacekeeping mission in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Officials would not disclose if any of the soldiers' tongues turned blue or red but there were a few unconfirmed complaints about generalized stickiness in the finger region.